It’s one of those Sunday’s again. The house is quiet, as it’s just me here nowadays.
That is the biggest change in an empty-nester’s life… the quiet. At times this silence is so abundantly loud, that I can’t get my mind around it. Don’t get me wrong, I lead a busy and fulfilling life, but the weekends are hard at times. That’s when I feel other people get together with family and enjoy each other’s company. My family is different. Too much to delve into in this post, but let me just say that because of that, I do not - in any way, shape or form - want my now adult kids to feel responsible for entertaining me or keeping me company. They have a right to their own lives. Especially now that they are in their twenties, they have a lot of exploring to do and that is where I feel their focus should be on. Not on me. Not even on a quiet Sunday. Those are up to me to entertain with whatever makes me feel better or useful.
And so, I write. I write to understand my own feelings in these solemn moments. To figure out what steps to take in order to not feel lost when I find myself alone. I love being alone - I really do! But at times it can feel a bit overwhelming and because of that sudden overwhelm, it’s hard for me to do anything that feels purposeful on those quiet days. The time feels endless then, yet there is also an urgency to how quick I should be to do something, as I feel I may (ironically) run out of time to do so…
Do you recognize that feeling of urgency?
I want to sit and read, but can’t find the internal peace of mind to do so. Somehow the only moment that feels right, is at night in bed, just before sleep. Painting is also something I want to explore, but when I think about it: I never get round to it, because I figure that by the time I’ve laid out all the material needed, I won’t know what to paint. And so I don’t. Silly really - because I don’t think any artist sets out to make ‘planned’ art.
I do household chores to feel useful and the only other thing I can actually set my mind to is to sit and write. Writing feels active. My fingers glide across the keyboard, my mind is throwing out thoughts, non-stop. What comes out on to the page is quickly reflected back and digested whilst I continue pouring out words, that in time make my thoughts go full circle. It’s a proces, an adventure into my mind and out on to the paper and back again. I love how it clarifies, opens up roads and heals along the way. It is my companion on these difficult days. It makes them easier to bear and lighter to carry. It feels less lonely, as if I have someone to share my thoughts with.
I thought for a long time that other people. might need this cathartic experience too. That offering a place to expand on a thought daily by responding to my writing prompt of the day, would attract others. But it hasn’t. Perhaps because there is a paywall and most of us just want to write freely and for free. I understand that.
And so I have decided to remove the paywall and allow anyone and everyone to use my writing prompts whenever they need a little extra incentive to write. Or to be inspired by them. Actually, you need no reason to acces the prompts - do with them as you may! All I hope for is that they will take you on an adventure and that you may enjoy the ride, whether it’s bumpy or smooth. It’s your ride, your life and your writing that matters!
Much Love,
Mies xxx
Totally on the same page except I have gotten rid of the need to be useful! I'm plenty useful every day and have been for years!
So if you don't know what to paint, collage! If your mind needs 'useful' go for a walk (it's fitness !)
And yes, write, write, write!
Hello. Indeed, some of those alone / lonely days as empty nesters can be challenging. And I definitely get how the quiet can sometimes feel empty or lacking (which is probably why I listen to podcasts a lot when I’m home alone). Hey, if you get around to painting for fun, I’d be curious to know how that goes. I’ve been thinking about trying to learn lettering again for fun, or just do something with the old colored pencils and markers here in my house.